Monday, April 13, 2015

I need a break from life

So I guess I was writing this post in current drunk condition.
I am so sorry, but this is the most terrible moment ever in my life,
Can't help but I think I;m going crazy by now.

Five minutes ago I was in my bathroom and burn an old picture of someone who means the world to me, for real, it hurts, IT HURTS SO DEEP that I can't help myself to not burst into tears.
And thank you for LIKING that burning picture post, wasn't expect you to like it anyway.
Remember the last time you (or maybe someone else) burn a picture tho?

It was the most difficult 3 years of my life where I holding on to something that deep in my heart I know it wasn't real but i let it slip anyway.
Too young, too dumb to realize the truth.
What's "I will always love you bella?"
FUCK.
I don't know that if one day I will surely believe that kind of sentences came from someone else other than you,
YOU JUST DON'T KNOW HOW HURT I AM.
Thanks for treating me as a game. as an option tho.
Thanks for saying, "Kan bisa berteman to."
OKAY.
THIS WASN'T FRIEND SUPPOSED TO BE DUDE.

If you asked me how am I doing?
I'm doing GOOD. Fuckin' good that I can't even feel how good it is! WOHOO.

And if now God's willing & asking me, I just wanna tell Him that I am tired, so so so so fuckin' tired, I know kalau hidup ini penuh cobaan, tapi bukan cobaan yang berturut seperti ini, I needed some time. I need a break, maybe a break from life, I am just too tired. SO FUCKIN' TIRED.

I wish I could just end up my life here, but I think that's stupid.
There's so many people maybe not around me right now feel the same way that I feel right now.
It's just me that I know, get this fuckin' problems.

I know that karma's does exist.
But I just want to know,
Salah apa aku bisa dpt cobaan kyk gini?
Dosa apa aku diperlakuin kyk gini?
That's all.

I guess since this was the last post before I sober, from  now on..
You're just another story I can't tell anymore.
Good luck & have a good awesome fuckin life out of here.
I'm gonna go on with my life & bring out the most best of me sooner or later.

Please do ignore any harsh words coming out while I'm not sane.
K. BYE.

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