The struggle between life, love, friendship, and works.

Hello everyone,
long time have no chit-chat with you guys, especially in my blog.
Too busy with works that I have no time to open up my laptop and typing in front of it, so today I find myself a little bit.. weird. Well weird.
Not because something bad happen actually, just a sudden NOT-permanent feeling I guess.
Life is good lately, well not all good, but.. it's fine.
Well I'm gonna share today with you guys about the struggle between love life and works lately, well.. my struggle to be exact. Gonna share it with a little bit english and indonesian language so it will be easier for me to say, remembering that I couldn't remember every words on vocabulary right. HAHA :)

So.. where do I start?
I guess I'm gonna start with my life in the earlier stage, how's my family, and how's society makes me who I am today (not trying to be dramatic FYI).

Okay, so I was born in the middle of a small loving family which contains 5 people including me, my mom and dad who still married and loving each other through their ups and down, and my two elder brothers which is 10 and 4 years older than me, And they both already married now, so let's say I'm the last one standing *ehh*.
My childhood is kind of normal actually, but what made it special is that I never live a miserable life like my older brother who already share the ups and down with my parents, from 5 to zero (not 10 yet), I mean bankrupt. Yes. You don't misspelling. So I guess I'm kinda lucky at the year of 1992.

The former story actually is that my mom didn't plan to had another child after my second brother was born, because she afraid to get another BOY during pregnancy. So, she tooks a herbal medicine to slowly err... abort (read: abortion). Well she didn't check for the gender yet remembering that she was 3 months pregnant, and then my grandma (from my mom's side) tell her NOT TO EAT another herbal medicine and made her check up on my condition.

And OH luckily the doctor said that I'm okay and in a good condition so she doesn't need to worry that I might be born with disabilities. And how happy she is when I was born a GIRL hahahaha. I guess God is protecting me that time. :)
Nah, the time when my mom's is still pregnant, my parent's work didn't go so well, so they are kind of desperately needs money that time to finance the maternity hospital, which my mom needs to get surgery to give a birth.

But God helps them through it, my dad didn't intentionally play gambling, and he won in a sufficient amount to pay the hospital where I was born.
Errr.... that's not a good... start huh. :'D
Well yeah.. we can  never choose how we live but I'm glad that I am alive.
They tell me after I was born, their works slowly raising, well not on too top, but it's good enough to finance all the family members. I guess I'm the one who brings their lucky star. LOLOLOLL!!

And moving to another chapters, bisa saya rasakan kalau saya tidak pernah kekurangan sesuatu apapun sejak saya lahir dan besar, mungkin hidup aku dulu jauh lebih enak drpd sekarang, bayangkan saja.. nikmatnya menjadi anak perempuan satu-satunya yang tidak pernah merasakan SHARING with another sibling, entah masalah baju, makanan, atau mainan. hahaha.. that makes me kind of egoism.
Apapun yang aku minta, tidak akan butuh waktu lama untuk mendapatkannya, mungkin inilah yang membuat saya SULIT MENERIMA kalau aku tidak mendapatkan sesuatu yg aku mau dengan cepat.

Begitu juga dengan hal melepaskan, saya tahu susahnya mendapatkan, maka dari sanalah saya belajar untuk tidak  mudah melepaskan.
Dalam hal melepaskan apapun, entah memberikan barang2 saya yg sudah tidak pernah dipakai.

Too much that I can't type it one by one.
Time flies and it's kinda bit too hard, I fell in love with a guy who's 7 years older than me, that time I'm still sitting in Junior High while he's already in Collage and we meet online, Friendster is the most IT social media back then before moving to Facebook.
Eversince that day, we slowly lost contact and I meet someone new, but DUH I couldn't make it official cuz he's one of my bff's ex, I choose my friend over that boy, cuz I value friendship more..

After that, we both lost contact and well... I'm over it,
And then I meet the guy I met online again, when I'm already in Senior High while he's working already.. well we meet.. online like MSN, or still on friendster then moving to Facebook. We chat almost everyday, I know his schedule too. And once a while we meet unintentionally at the mall..
Haha everything seems run smoothly as I ever imagined (let's just say I'm a little bit "baper".

Till the day that breaks my heart was in my 17th birthday when I invited him but he couldn't make it with so many reasons. But then when I woke up in the middle of the night and opened my FB, I just realize the reason that he couldn't came is that he's just in a relationship with another girl (well it didn't last too long in the end).
But it affects me too deep that time, trust me.. I don't feel like living a happy life since that day, ga punya semangat ngapa2in, sekolah juga malas, ngapain aja malas, and I never imagine that aku bisa begitu , but thanking all my bff who cheer me up till I'm over it! :)
Then we graduated from high school, well.. I still keep in touch with that guy,but only just asking how you doing bla bla bla, nothing else.
My life's fine so far without him, and thank God that I made it, I get through it.

Moving to another chapter..
When I was still FAT as hell, well.. my weight reach on 89kgs after holiday to China (I weight 85 before going to china), and oh my god.. I never imagine that I would be that fuckin' fat back then.
I just think that it's fine as long as I'm healthy, and still thinking that if someone really loves me, it wouldn't matter if I'm fat). Oh damn.. anggap saja pikiran orang hopeless yg ga bisa kurus meski diet gimana aja, and after that, well back in 2011 I'm still fat as hell, then I started diet, slowly and slowly, after 6 months not going anywhere, NOT going to hangout with friends.. Finally the skinnier me was born, I know I'm still fat, at least I lost about 15kgs in 6 months, and I'm PROUD OF IT, I show them that I CAN, and here I am.. I'm reaching 75kg, and then slowly to 70kgs, and slowly gaining 5kgs again, and then back to 70kgs, it stays about few years. And now still in diet condition, and reaching the 65kgs!!
5 more kgs to go! Well, it's good if I could make it 10 kgs more to lose :)

Moving to another chapters again,
I meet a guy while I'm still in dieting progress, and yeah we meet online, yes online all over again.
After the incident few years ago, I never responded anyone from online, I never never never had feelings from someone that I didn't know personally or I never saw in real life.
There's a lot of guy that keeps sending me a message but I don't respond it to be frank, but when I see that guy had mutual friends that I personally know I was thinking that "why not just be friend".

And slowly the time flies, we meet the first time at sutos, well.. that was the first time I see him, and it took only.. well maybe 3 minutes. And slowly we getting closer and closer, through ups and down, through every problems, well.. it didn't took so long for us to finally be in a relationship that time, but it didn't last for so long, only 5 months and it's LDR (you know LDR sucks really). (Sebut saja, hal yang di dapat terlalu cepat ga akan bertahan lama).

Ingatlah, aku yg sekarang bukan aku yang pernah kamu kenal beberapa tahun lalu..
I used to hate clubbing, I never drink alcohol, I never stay up late outside my house more than 12 am, I follow the rules. I am a good good girl, before someone totally brokes my heart to pieces. Remember that.. that guy used to be my first boyfriend, and I was like thinking that maybe he's the right one that I want to spend the rest of my life with. BUT I GUESS I'M WRONG. Anggap saja dibutakan cinta & terlalu polos hahahahahaha :)

It was my second heartbreak, well.. heartbreak ter-PARAH I guess. :)
What's a relationship that builds up with lie lie and lie?
Oh well.. (anggap saja masih terlalu polos saat itu hingga mudah sekali dibohongi dan termakan janji2 palsu wkwkwkwk)
Dan pertama kalinya bisa sayang setelah sekian lama, tapi ternyata...
Sayang itu gak dihargai :)

Eversince that day, I completely lose my mind, well.. I ever thought that it's better to not to get attached with someone else and let my mom or grandma pick someone who I had to marry with (istilahnya kesel cari pasangan yg pas, mendingan dicariin tinggal jalanin, kalo nantinya ga cocok ya udah kan at least bukan salah aku kalo SALAH PILIH PASANGAN, drpd mencocokan diri tapi pada akhirnya ga bisa bersama *ceileh*)

I never trust someone easily after that, all I can hear was a lie, lie, and lie :)
And seems that I can't even know which real and which is a lie.

That was me post break-up, labil dan gampang terpengaruh buruk -____-
Yg dulunya anak baik yang manis ga aneh2..
Look at me now, I go clubbing, I drink alcohol, mostly few times a week. Pernah mabuk, tapi untuk sekarang sudah cukup lah masa-masa mabuk2an, meski mabuk masih bisa kontrol diri pulang  ke rumah sendiri bawa mobil pula. LOL!
Well this was my first time telling people this, and I hope kalian bukan menyalah artikan, I asked permission to go clubbing, both my parents and brothers knows it. Bukan yg aku diem2 pergi ga bilang kalau clubbing dsb.

Thank God I had the COOLEST FAMILY ever!!!
Sometimes I feel sorry to my parents that I ended up having a bad habit. Well I couldn't say what's the reason of my rebellious act, because I was thinking that NOT EVERYONE understand and accepts. Remembering that my other family is too KOLOT and my bestfriends used to know me as a one of good person (at least not that bad).
It's hard to find someone to share, I mean, bener-bener ngerti and didn't judge me because of it.

And after post breaks up,
before I am unemployed, I didn't go to collage, I think it's wasting time, cuz all of my family members that go to collage ends up... buka toko sendiri & jadi ibu2 RT (re: Rumah tangga).
So I simply think that collage is not that important, at least for me..
Dr sana lah hidup jd pengacara dimulai, alias pengangguran banyak acara, aku poikir sih beberapa bulan lah nganggur dulu, bosen juga belajar trus.. ga kerasa, time flies, sudah jd pengacara selama 3 tahun, HAHAHAHA terhitung lulus SMA taun 2010, baru2 belajar yg namanya makeup di 2013, sampe skrg kerjaan jadi makeup-artist wkwkwk :D

Nah moving to working life that I've been having in current 2 years now,
first of all I never imagine my life now, I never imagine that I would be a makeup-artist, ever.
Yes I do love makeup since I was 2 years old. I used to play with my mom's lipstick and draw all over the wall with it. hahahahaha :D

Well, it's all started when someone told me to go to course, at least I'm not a pengangguran. But I didn't do it langsung, instead because of a lot of people kinda annoys me, dan banyak orang yg ngatain, nyindir, dan jelek2in, they said that I couldn't, aku gak bisa kerja, bisanya cuma makan tidur shopping ngabis2in duit ortu, well I know that, why not?? Mama2 guehhh, kenapa lu yg sewot, iri banget jd org wkwkwkwk :p
Ingatlah, itu pikiran anak yg masih menginjak usia 20 tahun dan dalam masa2 labil.

I'm not the type of person who socialized too much, especially with strangers, I choose the people I want to interact with, if you can't catch my attention, well.. sorry I won't responded you.
But it's all changes, the way I look at people, and how I respond.
I have to be nice, be nice, and be nice.
My job is to interact with people, and also with strangers.
That way I change a little bit socialized.

But I remember one of the reason, I want to proof to someone that I could be a better one, better than I am before, better than me that he met earlier, that Lia's from 0 to 9 (10 is too perfect).
I want to make him regret of losing me. REMEMBER THAT.
I am arrogant, sarcastic, and a little bit kasar. hahaha. I always think that I have to be better better and better each day.

That man told me to find someone MUCH MORE BETTER THAN HIM, financial or looks.
But, looking at someone who he chooses instead of me.. yang ga ada apa-apanya, sorry to say.. bitchy & ga punya etika. (ga usah sewot kalo merasa WKWKWK kan di dunia yg bitchy & ga punya etika ga cuma elu doangg keleusss)
Sungguh mengecewakan to be frank.. :)
And if you think you're perfect, DUH.. nobody's perfect!
Even the kindest person have sins.
Even those people who go to church on Sunday too!!
Nah the point is, iya kalo kalahnya sama bule sihhhh guehh terima aja, uda keliatan kalee kalahnya dimana hahahaha lah ini..... :D (that's exactly what I thought few years ago)

Beside those things, I want to prove to both of my parents that I could make them proud!
I know lah kalo ga banyak yg bisa mereka banggain dari aku, udah ga pernah nurut, susah diatur, kepala batu, se enaknya sendiri, egois, yaaa maklum lah ya ga pernah ada saingan dari kecil, apa-apa juga punya sendiri GA SHARING, jadi TOLONG DEH YAAA kalo masalah sharing, it's a big NO NO, apalagi sharing pasangan WKWKWKWKWK! :D
Boro-boro sharing, elu pake 1x aja kagak rela deh guehh asliii.. LOL

As time flies and putting much effort to be who I am today that I never ever imagined of, I am thanking God for all of the problems he put me through, karena.. dimana problem ngebuat aku yg sekarang bukan aku yang dulu, yang bisa dibilang lemah mentalnya lah yaa..
Sometimes, aku pikir aku terlalu keras, and takes life too seriously. Yes obviously.

So many of my friends, told me to take it easy, play the game, have fun with boys, and forget the rules and take chances, fuck off with what happen tomorrow. HEY, I CAN'T!!
You just don't know me well enough to say that to me, I had a deep and very deep thoughts of it.

Kamu belum tahu susahnya jadi aku, although all of you see me doing WELL and LIVE WELL.
I will never be in a relationship that I know it wouldn't last longer, I knew my life, my family.
When two people were married, it means two families are married too!

I know I sounds too old, but thats exactly what I thought.
Saya bukan type orang yang mau PHP-in orang lain, karena saya TAHU PERSIS bagaimana rasanya di PHP hahahahahaha njirrrr sakitnya bukan main sob!
Bukan type orang yang suka mainin orang yg emg serius, karena saya TAHU PERSIS rasanya dipermainkan waktu serius.
Bukan type orang yg mau BAPER, biar jauh-jauh dr sakit hati, karena saya TAHU PERSIS rasanya sakit hati, berasa uda mati rasa kali yaa skrg kalo ditanya..

In  my life, well.. from the very first beginning, aku sudah punya pegangan hidup, punya tuntutan hidup yang setidaknya harus dijalani meskipun I don't really care. Semua sudah tertanam di mindset, and it's NOT THAT EASY to let go of that mindset..

Tidaklah mudah menjadi seorang Lia Octaviani yang selama ini dikenal orang sungguh menikmati hidup dan mudah menjalani hidup (maaf yaa kata2nya sedikit dramatis hahahaha).
Seorang Lia Octaviani yang dikenal menjadi makeup-artist.
Seorang Lia Octaviani yang orang-orang tahu mudah cari duit.
Seorang Lia Octaviani yang hidup sedikit hedon meskipun ga seperti cece2 sosialita yg lebay lifestylenya diumbar-umbar. (ga nyalahin sihh namanya juga org hedon wkwkwkwkwk)
Seorang Lia Octaviani yang setiap weekend selalu clubbing.
Seorang Lia Octaviani yang dulunya gendut skrg lumayan agak kurus (HAHAHAHA).
Satu kata yaa... GAK GAMPANG! :)

I guess I'm lucky enough to live a wonderful life, thankyou to both of my parents yang sudah maksa belajar makeup, kalo ga beneran dehh ga bisa menikmati hidup skrg :)
I wish both of my parents live longer than I am.
Wouldn't trade them with anything.

Just because you see me drinking, clubbing, doesn't mean I'm a bad person.
Setidaknya meski ak clubbing, aku masih tahu BATAS, I will never touch drugs.
Masih ada tanggung jawab kerja, kerja ya kerja, clubbing ya clubbing, meski kadang kerja after clubbing hahahaha :D
It took me years to realize that it wasn't a good habit.
I'm grateful, that I still had bunch of friends that encourage me to be better.

Kamu ga bisa menyalahkan keadaan entah dr segi keluarga atau masa lalu yg kelam untuk jadi seseorang yang bisa dibilang RUSAK, karena itu pilihan..
Sebagaimana kamu membawa dirimu, setidaknya lebih maju, bukan mundur..

Jangan salahkan keadaan kalau nanti kamu termasuk orang yang GAGAL menjalani hidup, karena hidupmu ada di tanganmu.

Lingkungan juga lah yang membuat dirimu, antara jadi lebih maju, atau mundur..

Berterima kasihlah pada mereka yang masih mengkritik kamu, because they paid more attention.
Bersedihlah saat tidak ada lagi mereka yang mengkritik, karena dari sana lah kamu tahu kalau mungkin mereka sudah melupakan kamu.

Jangan merasa terintimidasi dengan omongan mereka yang mungkin tidak enak di dengar, tapi jadikanlah itu boomerang untuk mau bisa menjadi sosok seseorang yang BETTER dan LEBIHHHH baik dr kamu sekarang. :)

And now it's about friendship..
BEDAKANLAHHHH!!!
Dalam arti mana teman yang bisa kamu ajak bersenang-senang saja, dan mana teman yang bisa bersedih dan senang bersama. Dan juga mana teman yang bisa membuatmu jauh lebih baik dan maju, dan mana teman yg membuatmu mundur, dan mana teman yg sengaja dekat supaya bisa melihatmu jatuh perlahan.

Teman bersenang-senang dalam arti seperti saya yaa... clubbing (contoh paling mudah).

Teman bersedih dan senang dalam arti saya ya... yg ada waktu kamu susah senang, bukan yg susah ditinggal, tapi kalo seneng2 selalu muncul. :)

Teman yg bisa jadiin kamu lebih baik itu teman yg bisa mengkritik kamu, and encourage you. Kalau ketemu selalu ada pembahasan yang bermutu, contoh saja masalah pekerjaan, dan mungkin yg bisa membantu pekerjaanmu.

Teman yg membuatmu selangkah mundur dalam arti saya ya yg ngajak2 rusak WKWKWKWKWK contoh aja yg ngajak2 ngeroom, ngobat, dan apapun yg sekiranya tidak baik untuk masa depanmu.
Karena bagi saya, teman yang baik itu kalau mau rusak ya rusak sendiri, ga ngajak2 yg lain.

Teman yg sengaja dekat biar bisa lihat kamu jatoh itu yaaa.... yang kyk gitu ituhh lah. Baik di depan, dibelakang main tusuk. HAHAHAHA :)
Memang ga heran sihh jaman sekarang apapun dilakoni biar puas, temen sendiri aja dimakan. GILEEE ga tuh lu.. :)))

TAPI, sebagaimana kalo kamu teman yg baik, setidaknya kasih pengertian mereka supaya kembali ke jalan yg lurus, masalah diterima ato nggak nya nasehat kamu, yaa terserah yg melakoni, syukur2 diterima, kalo ga ya uda deh yaa..
toh nantinya yg menjalani dan rugi yaa yg bersangkutan...
Kita mahh bawa dalam doa aja :)
Pada dasarnya orang yg mau berubah jadi lebih baik bisa menelaah yg baik, bukan terintimidasi dgn nasehat.

Sebelum bertidak, pikirkanlah panjang2, karena... yg sudah terjadi ya terjadilah..
Tidak ada waktu yg bisa diputar kembali. :)

Someone told me, ga usah menyesali apa yang sudah terjadi, tapi jadikanlah itu pelajaran supaya kamu tidak jatuh dilubang yang sama..
Kamu melakukannya juga atas dasar rasa sayang, meskipun rasa sayangmu itu kadang disalah-arti kan.
Yg terpenting sekarang, sebagaimana kamu berusaha jd lebih baik, dan bisa membedakan mana yg baik dan buruk.
Ketahuilah, karma itu ada percaya tidak percaya..
Ga selamanya orang yg diatas itu selalu ada di atas, dan yg dibawah selalu di bawah.
Do good and be good, so the good will come to you!! :)

Oh God, I never thought I will wrote this blog SO LONG..
I am sorry to make you read this..
Saya cuma sebatas mencurahkan pikiran, tanpa mau menyindir pihak mana pun, jd no offense yee cyinn..

So this will be my last long post, and the end of this post..
Lega sekali setelah sekian lama ada waktunya untuk mencurahkan uneg2 :)
Have a good day fellas, till the next post!

                                                                            xoxo,

                                                                                              Lia ♥

Be the right man & be the right woman.

Hello everyone,
So I am here today with this little article posted by my friend at the groups, a little thought for young man & young lady here about finding your one and only soulmate.
Such a great article for a single people (including me :p)

And for the bold texts, that's what inspires me through this articles. Thankyou for sharing this auntie :)

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Rasanya hampir tidak dapat dipercaya sekarang ibu menulis soal ini kepada dua anak laki laki yang sangat membanggakan hati. Ibu tidak bisa lebih bersyukur atau meminta kepada Tuhan memperoleh putra yang lebih baik daripada kalian. Kalian bertiga adalah anugerah terbesar dan terindah yang Tuhan berikan kepada ibu. I could never ask for more.

Membesarkan kalian adalah masa masa terindah dalam hidupku, sekalipun itu harus ditukar dengan prospek perkembangan karir, ibu bahagia memilih menjadi ibu rumah tangga dan menyaksikan kalian tumbuh.

Pada akhirnya ibu harus bicara soal jodoh, mengingat saat ini  kalian sudah cukup pusing dikejar kejar cewek yang tentu saja mengagumi kualitas yang ada dalam diri kalian. You were brought up with lots of love and values  from your parents. Never forget that.

Rasanya ibu tidak harus panjang lebar mengulang kembali bagaimana menjadi laki laki sejati. Satu kalimat sederhana mampu mengungkapkan petuah panjang soal itu : Contohilah ayahmu.

Soal cewek, ibu dapat memahami rasa heran maupun kebingungan kalian. Wanita memang tidak mudah dipahami. Sampai detik ini juga ibu kadang sukar memahami diri sendiri. Itu bagian misteri perempuan yang justru menambah keindahannya. Satu pemahaman umum sederhana adalah wanita ingin disayangi dan dilindungi.

Soal selera secara fisik, ibu tidak perlu komen panjang lebar. Masing masing kalian memiliki selera berbeda, dan itu sah sah saja.. Selera itu adalah hak prerogatif yang tidak bisa diganggu gugat. Yang pasti secara jujur ibu harus mengatakan bahwa inner beauty adalah hal terpenting, tapi inner beauty tanpa dibungkus dengan kulit luar yang apik akan menjadi kurang maksimal karena kalian sebagai laki laki sejati tidak mau merasa malu membawa istri dan mengenalkannya kepada orang lain, terutama sahabat dan keluarga. Kalian berdua sudah cukup dewasa untuk mengartikan ini…

Dari dulu ibu tidak pernah rewel soal berteman. Yang selalu ibu ingatkan adalah harus selalu baik dan sopan kepada orang lain. Berkawanlah sebanyak mungkin. Jangan memilih milih teman karena status sosialnya maupun dilihat dari uangnya. Tidak semua yang kaya itu baik, tidak semua yang miskin juga baik. Uang hanyalah sarana dan alat membeli sesuatu yang dibutuhkan dan diinginkan. Uang itu perlu, oleh karenanya aturlah uang dengan baik, dan jangan pernah membiarkan uang mengatur kalian, apalagi sampai bisa membeli hati nurani.

Entahlah kalau ibu ibu yang lain… tapi ketika menyangkut soal memilih jodoh, ibu harus minta maaf lebih dulu. Jujur ibu akan sanget bawel soal ini.  Ibu tidak pernah mungkin bisa benar benar objektif menilai wanita yang akan menjadi istri kalian, tapi sedapat mungkin ibu janji akan bersikap adil dan fair sebatas kemampuan ibu. You two know that I am a fair person. Ibu benci ketidak adilan.

Meskipun sejujurnya ibu sudah berulang kali mengatakan… rasanya tidak ada wanita yang cukup pantas mendapatkan kalian. Ini  adalah  ungkapan kebanggaan seorang ibu kepada anak laki lakinya. Overdosis ? mungkin memang kedengaran berlebihan…but I can’t help it. Kelak istri kalian juga akan merasakan hal yang sama jika kalian memiliki anak laki laki…

Memilih istri itu mungkin kurang lebih mirip dengan memilih mobil… Ada begitu banyak ragam jenis mobil dengan spesifikasi yang berbeda. Kenali diri kalian.. ketahui apa yang menjadi selera kalian.  Satu hal prinsip yang paling berbeda antara istri dan mobil adalah : Istri itu abadi. Tidak bisa ditukar tambah kapan saja kalian mau. When you get married, you married for life.

Jangan pernah menikah hanya karena merasa sudah umurnya harus menikah.Menikahlah karena kalian merasa pasti bahwa dengan dirinya kalian akan saling membahagiakan selamanya.

Ini yang bisa ibu katakan mengenai petunjuk umum secara garis besar ketika itu menyangkut calon istri…

-  Look for the right chemistry. Kalian akan tahu itu ketika bertemu dengan yang cocok. Kalian akan menyadari bahwa rasanya masuk akal kenapa selama ini yang lain kurang menarik, dan ada sesuatu yang rasanya kurang sebelum bertemu dengannya.

Ada pesona tersendiri yang dibawanya yang memang melekat dalam dirinya tanpa dibuat buat.  Ibu pikir dulu ayahmu jatuh cinta dengan ibu karena diantara teman teman calon dokternya yang lembut feminin, tiba tiba nongol seorang wanita yang lain dari yang lain. Yang bisa memanjat pohon dan berantem dengan sangat baik… Rupanya pria kalem yang tenang itu tergeletak tak berdaya dengan seorang gadis blak blakanyang kalau makan tidak pernah malu malu, dan bisa menyatakan pendapatnya dengan jujur,  sekalipun harus berbeda… Siapa yang bisa menyangka ? Tanya ayahmu soal chemistry… ibu tidak pernah bosan mendengar cerita klasik bagaimana dia jatuh cinta dengan ibu…

- Nilai kebaikannya bukan semata dari cara dia memperlakukan kalian, tapi bagaimana dia memperlakukan orang lain, terutama mereka yang lebih tidak beruntung dari dirinya.

Tentu saja wanita akan baik kepada pria yang dicintainya. Kebaikan sejati itu dinilai dari bagaimana dia bersikap dan memperlakukan orang lain. Apakah dia adil dan jujur ? Apakah dia penuh belas kasih? Bagaimana dia menghormati orang tua dan memperlakukan teman temannya ? Dengan siapa dia bergaul ? Bagaimana gaya hidupnya ? Apakah dia bisa tersenyum sama lebarnya ketika diajak makan di restaurant mahal  ataupun di warung Tegal yang murah meriah?

Perlu waktu untuk menilai ini semua. Tapi kalau soal jodoh, selalu ibu katakan, jangan merasa diburu buru. Take your time… give time enough time.

- Pilihlah wanita yang mampu menertawakan dirinya sendiri. Ini kemampuan hebat yang sangat perlu. Hidup ini akan membawa kalian kepada banyak masalah dan lika liku… Tapi tidak ada yang lebih menyenangkan daripada  hidup bersama dengan wanita yang mampu membuat kalian tertawa.

Pilihlah wanita yang bisa tertawa ketika kalian mengatakan “kartu ATM-ku tertelan lagi….

Selera humor yang baik itu bukan menertawakan orang lain, tapi lebih kepada bagaimana dia bisa menertawakan dirinya sendiri dan melihat sisi lucu dan baik dari segala sesuatu.  Pada akhirnya cinta yang bergelora itu akan stabil… kupu kupu yang terbang tak tentu arah dalam perut kalian ketika pertama jatuh cinta, akan hinggap dengan tenang dan menetap, digantikan dengan rasa nyaman yang  menyenangkan…, tapi perekat cinta yang awet adalah tertawa bersama menjalani kehidupan rumah tangga kalian.

- Menikahlah dengan wanita yang memiliki prinsip hidup yang baik dan menghormati prinsip prinsipnya. Dia tidak harus selalu setuju dengan kalian. Buat apa menikah dengan orang yang selalu mengatakan ya ? When two person always agree, one is not necessary…

Pilihlah wanita yang mampu menyikapi perbedaan pendapat, mampu menghargai perbedaan selera dan berkompromi secara fair…

Menikahlah dengan wanita yang mampu bicara jujur demi kebaikan.

- Ini yang terakahir, tapi bukan berarti tidak penting…. Menikahlah dengan wanita yang menghormati kalian. Ibu akan menjadi orang yang paling naik pitam jika kalian dikasari. Terutama di depan umum. Never .. ever let a woman be rude to you.

Ibu bisa mengatakan ini karena ibu mendidik kalian untuk selalu menghormati dan menghargai wanita.  Cinta tanpa penghargaan bagaikan mobil tanpa setir, tidak berguna.

Well, you know your mother.. ini dulu yang bisa ibu katakan. Mudah mudahan tidak ada lagi yang perlu ibu tambahkan  kecuali bahwa I love you and will always be proud of you , my sons.

For Russell and Reinhart, with unlimited love from your Mum.)

Written by Ellen Maringka for Kompasiana Muda.

click here

Heart to heart

Hello everyone,
so today I got so many things that running in my mind, if you be able to see what's inside my brain, it's a total mess, over-capacity, over-limit, yeah I guess that's how I can describe it. I know it's sound TOO MUCH, or too drama, too.. whatever. I always had the thought that someday everything's gonna make sense, OH I really wish I had someone to share everything, I mean someone who I can trust, someone who can perfectly understands my situations and conditions without judging, someone who can encourage me, someone who can move forward with me, someone who stay when everyone leave. It's been a while I didn't talk heart-to-heart here.

You know I'm not that kind of person who freely talks and discuss about my private life, I'm not that kind of person who easily express what I really feel. I am stubborn. I am impatient. I am childish, I am vindictive, etc. I'd choose to not to talk about my problems until I reach the limit. I know that's not good, well you know everyone isn't the same, not everyone can accept your statements. I've been trying so hard to be a good person, I try to reduce my anger, I try to understand people's feelings & conditions & situations. I know in life, you have to work more harder to get what you really want, it takes time and patience to achieve what you really deserve. You know nothing worth having comes easy, right?

To be honest, deep inside, I feel so tired with all of this crap, I mean the situation, condition, this un-describeable feelings, this anger & jealousy. I never thought that growing up is much harder than final exams. Well I guess I understand why Peterpan didn't want to grow up. hahaha. OH GOD dammit! :(

Well last week on Sunday evening, me and my friends is going to Church together, I see that everyone's having their own problems, those soul that seeks for the best solutions for their problems. They seeks for their happiness, hands that willing to hold them when they're broken, those people who seek tranquility, those people who've been hurt mentally & physically. I know that I'm not the only one who had problems right. And that day, they're discussing about "First Love".

First of all, I'm not that religious type of person, I do whatever I like as long as I didn't do a wrong thing, and live my life straight, I don't need to show to people as if I was a religious person. I did the right thing and avoid what I thought was wrong. I'm not a person who likes to interfere in other people's business, because I don't like it when there are other people who casually meddle my own business. Just take care of your own life, why should we take care of other people's problems. And note this, just because I whine a lot in here, doesn't mean that I'm an attention seeker OKAY? Tell ya, I wrote whatever I want, this is my blog remember? You have no right to complaining. :)

I just try to distance myself from you, I know it's fuckin' hard to do, but what else can I do? Tell me, can you? And if you tell me to stay, I'll stay, no matter what, no matter how hurt it is, no matter how hard it is, but if you tell me to leave, I will, I don't want to make your life more complicated, more miserable, more frustrating, etc. I know you've been trying SO hard, I try to understand, I try to accept it even it kills me inside. 

BUT, if you really want me to leave you, forget all about us, and want me to move on, promise me you'll have a better life, promise me you'll forget me, promise me you'll be able to find someone who's WORTH having you and never take you for granted, promise me you'll never do stupid things, promise me you'll be a firm kind of person.

And I promise you, I will never ever forget every single thing about you, I will never ever do something stupid, I will always remember you as my sweetest whatever. You know I love you and I thought I would never ever love anyone else as big as my love for you. I know you might not be my first love, but I know you are the one who matter the most, you are the one who makes me don't want to sleep because reality seems more better than my dreams. 

I won't chase you, because this time, I wanted to be the one who chased. It's been so hard for me to let you go. OH GOD please just end up this nightmare, tell me that this all just a bad dream. Tell me that we're destined to be together, tell me that I still can hold him in my arms, tell me please! If this all was just a bad dream, wake me up. And if this love only exist in my dreams, please don't wake me up. :'(

I remember when I'm going to church last Sunday, the pastor said:
"Let God interfere in every problems that you're dealing with, surely he will give you the best way out of your problem."

I guess this is the end of Heart-to-Heart post, seeyou in the next post later you guys!

"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."  

- Psalm 147:3

                                                                xoxo,

Touching stories

 

Married or not you should read this...
“When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat

down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed -dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.

So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

Twen-Teen

 
Hello everyone,
hahahaha I guess you're now thinking about my blog title above right?
I got this words from my friend Gabriella yesterday, as you remember that my birthday is on this October 28.
I'm going to 20 !!!! *wtf*
Yea I'm old enough now *cough*
 Remember that last year I'm just updated my blog with "Happy Birthday to me" #lol

How pity, I'm 20 and single. Okay okay, you may laugh now. I broke up with my boyfie last month, the reason? It's personal, not for public.

I admit that I'm still kinda upset sometimes, since he was my first boyfriend, but life goes on right?



I was wondering that I could spent my birthday this year with someone special, but it fades away now. 
What can I do? I do my best to keep this relationship, but what can I do if God wants it differently. *sob*

So yea back to the first topic, Twen-Teen is just another meaning of Twenty and Teenager. You know that twenty is not so YOUNG wtf.
She said that we're still young, so she change "Twenty" to "Twen-Teen". hahahahahahaa



I guess yea we're still young and free but not wild. #lol
YOLO! do what makes you happy ;)

Ah, happy eid al-adha to those who celebrate it :)
And, RIP to those goats and the cows. How sad.. 

                                                                                    xoxo,

                                                                   Lia.

Romantic Conversation you've ever wanted

 

Hello everyone,

I have no idea why I posted this kind of blog, but I do like the conversation between a girl and his boyfriend..

I forget where did I get this post but I already have it for ages.. #lol

Check this out...

Girl: Do i ever cross your mind?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you like me?
Boy: Not really

Girl: Do you want me?
Boy: No

Girl: Would you cry if ii left?
Boy : No

Girl: Would you live for me?
Boy: No

Girl: Would you do anything for me?
Boy: No

Girl: Choose -- me or your life
Boy: My life

___________________________________________

hold on ladies & gentlemen!

it may sound too RUDE but...

read the remain stories below ;)

___________________________________________

The girl runs away in shock and pain
and the boy runs after her and
says...

The reason you never cross my mind is
because you're always on my
mind.

The reason why I don't like you
is
because I love you.

The reason I don't want you is
because
I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if
you left
is because I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn't live for
you is
because I would die for you.

The reason why I'm not willing
to do
anything for you is because I would
do everything for you.

The reason I chose my life is because
you ARE my life.

___________________________________________________

Sweet right?

enjoy dreaming love birds ;) 

                                      xoxo,

                                                  Lia.

2 Months ♥

Hello everyone,

so today's our 2 months anniversary... #LOL

2 MONTHS not 2 YEARS okay

hahahaha sounds too much but glad that we can go through this even yeah you know LDR sucks, really! 

oh my.. I miss him so much :(

As a present to you who reads my blog,

I'm going to give you a new design for my blog banner!

YAYY :)

wait until I finished creating the background okay?

                                                                    xoxo,

                                                                 Lia.