Hello everyone,
so here I am today with another chit-chat time again.
hahaha so sorry if you're damn bored with my blog contents.
Well you know in life, sometimes we're happy, we're sad, we're confuse, etcetera. And I'm on the middle of nowhere I don't even know what exactly I'm feeling right now. Weird. Yeah. Whatever you said.
So, I know it's in the middle of the night, where everyone is barely now sleeping and having a sweet dream, while me still awake and doing some random things, like this, chit-chat with my own laptop, listening to some random music, well I put it on shuffle, then checking on my facebook, trying few clothes (oh well idk why I do this such of things in 2 am LOL I think I'm a weirdo), looking at my beauty space OH i mean my own table with full of any kind of makeup, well most of all, I think a lot, I mean I've got this freshly brain in almost every midnight, oh yeah.. *am I too talkative? lol*
Now, what I was thinking is how my life changes a lot in just a year, looking back on last year, where I still a "jobless", you could say "pengangguran" in Indonesian, all I can think about is holiday, hangout, party-ing (well I start to go to such club last year before my birthday), shopping, manicure-pedicure, etc.
And thank God, now I had a job, I start to build up my career, I already taken my beauty class and ready to get another course in few months ahead, well I know I still can't get over from partying kind of lifestyle, pity me, but I'll make sure I will get over it really soon.
And umm.. Thank God for what you've done for my life, even if it's not always good, I really thankful, especially for last birthday present from you. I never ask for more, but you give me more than I deserve, well I didn't wish it would happen that day, but it was my best birthday ever, I can see that one person who I really wanted to meet, and voila.
Ok, now it's nothing.
Yeah.. I know it's been a rough year for me. I was end up getting dumped by someone I really loved, yeah that someone who I really wanted to meet on my last birthday last year, hahaha.. Well love sucks, oh no, people around us sucks.
But, yeah.. That's a part of life, you can't always get what you want right? :)
It's pretty amazing what a year can do, well you'll never know how far you had change if you didn't look back, you can look back but don't dwell on past, it's kinda useless you know.
I am glad that I can get through it little by little, there was something I really grateful about, problems that makes me who I am today, I know I'm not strong enough, but I know I will get through everything, if I want to try.
Still can't get through it? TRY HARDER.
I know it's easier to talk like that, but I exactly know how hard is it, but once you get through it, you know that it's the best thing that you can do. Sometimes what I really need is just time, people said time heals almost everything, but no, your wounds might heal, but the scars will always there, even if it's invisible. Agree? hahahaha why am I got a lot of quotations in my head huh?
So yesterday I hangout with few friends, well they're just like my third family, one of my friend said that "Cinta itu tidak harus memiliki", once I agreed with that quote, but the boys didn't. hahaha Idk why, but they said that "kalau kamu selalu mikir cinta tidak harus memiliki, maka kamu ga akan pernah bisa maju kedepan." Umm I kinda confuse with this FYI. People said, if you love someone, let them go, set them free, if they're comeback, s/he's YOURS. Oh it happen once, but yeah he's not mine eventually. hahaha..
Just so you know, I only said what I want to say, I tell you this long long story, doesn't mean that I still can't get over him okay, that's a part of life, you can never really get over something you know? Can you see, I'm still me, I'm alive, I never tied my life hanging on someone so when they're left, I still alive, breathing, and go on with my life. That's true, don't tie your happiness on someone else's life. They might once said that they can't live without you, but now SEE? they're still alive right? hahaha kidding. :)
When i said, I am happy if you're happy, even if it's not with me, it's fucking true. You know, I'd rather be a HONEST asshole than a LYING bitch.
I know exactly how it feels to be lied to. I don't want anyone else to feel the same way like what I already feel before. You could say that I'm blind that time, I know the truth but still act like a foolish girl who put everything aside just because of the love she had for that someone who never ever love her, respects her, and want her.
No one ever wants it, but people have to fall over sometimes, not because they deserve it, it's a way of life teaches you how to be a good and better person in the future.
So maybe, this is the end of chit-chat time.
It took me one hour to type this emotional kind of post. LOL
I'll seeyou in another post!
Ciaoooo
xoxo,
Lia ♥
Thank God for almost everything he's done in my life, for another year of my life, for the good & the bad things ever happened in my life, for all the things he had given & he taught for a year.
Thank you for showing me the things that I need to learn, so I could be a better person in the future. I never imagined that within a year, a lot of things have changed when I look back.
But life isn't meant to be traveled backwards, so leave everything that's already happen to where they supposed to be "PAST", and go forward.
I'm so READY to growing up again.
WELCOME OCTOBER!
I deserve BETTER this year! :)
xoxo,
Lia.
Hello everyone,
so I'm back here with a "CC Cream" topic,
as I've posted on my instagram few weeks ago(if you followed me), I've bought a Max factor CC cream last time while my friend is going back for good from Australia to this super boring hometown Surabaya. As you can see on the picture above.
What's CC Cream?
CC cream, also known as Color Control cream, or Color Correcting cream, is a refined Blemish Balm cream or Beauty Balm created and developed in Korea. BB (Blemish Balm) cream
was originally formulated in Germany and has in recent years gained
popularity in Asia, and is also gaining popularity Europe and North
America. BB cream is a popular product in Asia, used to provide natural-looking
skin coverage. As a multitasking beauty product, CC cream was developed
to retain all the benefits of BB cream
with added nourishing ingredients whilst reducing the appearance of
skin redness or sallowness (often with light-diffusing particles).
CC cream is reputed to include sun protection, along with better
skincare properties (such as anti-aging, hydration, blemish prevention
etc.) and treatment of uneven skin tones than BB creams. Some users find it to have a lighter texture than BB cream, which allows for smoother application with a less oily finish. Coverage can vary greatly among the different brands, and are more often than not minimal when compared to BB creams. Some tend to work better as primers rather than a replacement for foundation.
I'm in shade 40 (Fair), well first of all, I'm not really sure that I like the texture, the texture is not so watery like BB cream I've used for couple years. But I super really likey the result, it really covers my dark circles and any imperfections on my face. TRUST ME! You love it, but I'm not quite sure that I'll use this CC cream, I think my skin is so sensitive, I've got redness & pimples after using CC cream, not just max factor, but Apieu too. (Apieu is a Korean brand cosmetics.) Oh too bad, not just a little expensive, but I can't use it too often. I didn't suit with CC cream maybe. :(
Bought Max factor's CC cream for AUS$19.90.
So here's some picture of Me using CC cream, and also some pictures taken with my friends (sorry for the bad resolutions photos)
So that's the end of post,
I'll see you in another blogpost, welcoming October!!
Well you know that's my month <3
xoxo,
Lia.
Hello everyone,
miss me huh? hahaha well sorry for my disappearing for a couple weeks, I'm a little bit busy these few couple weeks, during preparing for my cousin's wedding on this week, it's on September 15. I have to find a dress, fitting, and also starting my new side job as a Make-up artist just so you know. hahaha that's really interesting OMG! I never imagine that I was be able to be a MUA. And uh I was totally forgot that I had a broken heart few couple weeks ago. LOL. Oh yes what keeps me busy, keeps me forget all hose stupid little drama back then. Oh fuck that. haha I live in reality, not in drama. :)
Well today I don't know exactly what I wanna say here, I just wanna share a little quotation for you, for those who want to move forward, not move on okay :)
"Time flies, people change, feelings change, and heart move "forward", not move "on", you know future are meant to be traveled forward, not backwards, set your past as a lesson, that's what makes you a better one in the future, you may miss the old times, but you know that it's more best to keep going rather than having to repeat the same story when you already know how the story would ends." :)
End of story.
hahahahahaha
Well I guess I'd post another make-up courtesy soon!
Till we met again :-*
xoxo,
Lia.
Hello everyone,
well first of all sorry for the chit-chat thingy here..
Oh I'd like to use a little bit Indonesian too this time.
So, yeah.. I'm back into my blog today, cus banyak banget uneg-uneg yang ada di otakku sekarang. you know for the past couple months having a cat fight oh whatever you wanna say, this person really really annoys me so much. Oh really!
Aku ga pernah mau tahu urusanmu, mau kamu hidup kek, mati kek, apapun yg ada hubungannya sama kamu, I DON'T EVEN CARE okay. SO why you keep bothering me so much. Especially the harsh words you used, hellooo, pendidikan tinggi, tapi etika & tutur kata kok sama sekali ga sepadan sama education'nya sih? Itu mulut apa sampah haha *sorry*
Well, sorry for whining a lot in here guys, I just need to express what I felt, people get tired okay, tired to act like everything is fine, everything is under control, oh whatever. YOU said that you "set him free" ? OH REALLY? HAHAHA!! well I don't have to say anything, but just make sure that your words are 100% TRUE.
Remember what YOU SAID last year, if you don't please just SEE YOUR POST ON FACEBOOK, you said that you never want to destroy someone relationship especially your ex, BUT WHAT?! HAHAHAHA. Such a hypocrite.. So, if you're now reading this, what you wanna do? MAU NGELAPOR LAGI? hahaha udah gede masi suka laporan, anak SD ya? hahahaha.. But I don't really care, you already messed up with me & my life. So I wish KARMA hit you straight on your face REALLY SOON.
You said that I "WANT" him? Yeah, I want him. I want him to be in my life, I want him for the rest of my life. Is that wrong? I don't think so. I didn't "WANT" him for any reasons. Or maybe you are the one who "WANT" him for reasons? No offense dude. And just to make it straight, I never forced him to be with me, or choose me instead of you, I already told him that HE'S FREE TO CHOOSE okay. And I accept the fact that he chooses you. SO WHAT'S THE MATTER NOW?! I don't even care about you, and all the things between you two. So get losttttt!!
And just to let you know, I am now OKAY, I'm fine, I'm happy, and I enjoyed my life as much as I can, just like before I met him okay. So please yaa ga usah bandingin rasa sakit yg pernah kamu alamin, perjuangan kamu, atau apapun. Cus, rasa sakit kita itu beda, cara berjuang kita juga beda, pengorbanan kita juga beda. Aku bukan ingin hitung2an disini, cuma ngelurusin aja, KALO KITA GAK SAMA dan GA AKAN PERNAH SAMA. Mungkin kesamaan kita itu cuma "pengen" sama orang yang sama, tapi kata pengen kita itu BEDA. Entah kamu ada maksud ato ngga, who knows? :)
Dan kalo emang kamu ngebebasin dia dari dulu, ga akan kamu ikut campur dalam semua hal, pake cara apapun biar dia ga bisa berkutik, mau ga mau dia harus pilih kamu. Well well, kalo aku ngelakuin hal seperti itu, itu cuma buat aku malu sendiri. hahaha.. Please, before you say something, pikir dulu.
You can tell people what I've done, but don't forget to tell them what you've done TOO!
Cukup tau aja kokkk.
And the last, I told you,
I am too old for all your fuckin' drama, and too young to give a fuck.
Karma's only a BITCH if Y O U are. :)
Oh okay then,
sorry guys, I think I'll see you later in the next interesting blog..
xoxo,
Lia.
Hello everyone,
so I'm back again with a little bit mood change *hahaha*
Well you know that I've been through a hard time in past a year back then.
Not exactly a year though, it's 11 months, and next month is exactly one year after those break up situation where I've spent last year drinking some beers with my bff's.
Oh I thank you for your supports guys, I 'm glad to have you all.
Despite of it, well.. I find it hard to move on, oh okay to be honest.. I already said that he was my first ever boyfriend. I guess you know how hard is it when it comes about "the first" right?
And as I remember one of my friend told me, you'll never forget "the first time" you do something, no matter what, you'll never forget it.
Oh I know I know, it sounds too much.. I get it. hahaha..
Oh first of all, sorry if I use an Indonesian a bit here, well it's easier to tell you with Indonesian, remembering that not everyone is fluent with English.
I know, semua orang pasti "pernah" memliki cerita sendiri, whether it's about first boyfriend, first love, oh whatever. And finally, I understand how it feels like when you really love someone, and that someone doesn't appreciate your love. I don't know exactly but aku rasa memang tidak pernah dihargai. hahaha sorry to be honest. And now, I am so grateful, why? I finally can let go of my past, even it hurts me, A LOT more that you think. hahaha *sounds too dramatic*
Aku belajar kalau kamu ingin membuang masa lalumu, tidaklah susah, seperti apa yang aku alami kemarin, itu kesalahan. Yah kita semua belajar dari kesalahan kan? Kalau tidak, kamu tidak akan bisa menjadi orang yang lebih baik untuk kedepannya.
Well, the first step that I did is.. simpan jauh-jauh semua foto, meski hanya sebuah foto, tapi hal itu yang membuatmu berat untuk melepaskan. *DUH, sorry bahasaku agak GAK banget kyknya ya hahaha*
And please, delete all photos even from your blackberry, iphone, nor your wallet, and don't forget simpan jauh-jauh, dimana kamu bakal jarang liat semua itu. Kalo nyimpan di laptop, yah simpan di folder yang ga bakal pernah kamu buka sama sekali meskipun tiap hari laptop selalu kamu utak-atik. haha :)
The second step is hmm.. delete his number from your contacts. Don't even read the old texts, or whatever. And if he's on your LINE contact, just hide it. So you wouldn't see their names on your contact list, see their updates, or see their "wtf" pictures. hahaha..
Oh well, I didn't tell to "unfriend" them on facebook or whatever social media names, but seems like they're deleting me. Oh it's okay, really. It's better you who deleted me than I deleted you, it's like umm it bothering you if you see my name while you opened your facebook page. lol
And the third thing is.. simpan semua barang yang bisa ingetin kamu sama doi, hahaha.. Yeah I find it hard when I still hugging the bear that he gaves to me, so I manage to keep it far away from me, even it's my favorite kind of bear. Oh well skip that thing.
The fourth is you need a distraction! I find it more easier, oh well my distraction is getting a new piercing, (as seen on my instagram if you followed me). haha I know that's not a good thing, but yeah I love piercing. Every piercing that I had told a different stories. And just to make it clear ya, ga semua orang bertindik itu ga baik. Cuma orang kolot aja yang mikir seperti itu. hellooo ini bukan tahun 80'an, ini 2013. PLEASE... :)
The last thing thing is.. you have to tell yourself that you're gonna be okay without him, you'll be happy even without him, you deserve better, you've done a lot, you are precious, and NEVER COMPARE YOURSELF with ANYONE, apalagi orang yang ga ada baiknya, aku tau judging people who you doesn't even know is a bad habit, but for me, aku ga bisa dibandingin sama orang kyk gitu (yah cukup yang tau aja ngerti kok), dan jangan sekalipun kamu berani bandingin, because she's not even close to my level, SO STOP loving someone who doesn't even appreciate your love. It's like you're throwing a diamond while you're picking up the rocks. :)
That's all I've did. And lucky me, he's not around anymore, well at least until the next couple months, or year? haha good. I didn't regret everything in my past, they're there to give you lessons in life. I believe that I'll go through all of this shit very soon. Yang sekarang ada di pikiranku adalah aku harus menata hidupku seperti sedia kala, the life that I had before I meet him, but then aku ga akan bisa 100% jadi orang yang sama seperti dulu, but at least be a better me, the smart one, lia yang tau mana yang baik & buruk, well leaving the bad habit like going to club, partying, oh whatever. Lia yang dulu sudah ga ada. It's like umm.. The old me is already gone, and dead. ok? :)
You can't please society, really, you only need to keep struggle to live the world full of lies, full of hypocrites, and full of bitches. haha make sure you're not one of them :)
Oh well, aku kira kata-kataku diatas sudah cukup untuk blog kali ini..
No offense. This is my blog, I wrote whatever I like. :)
I'll see ya in the next post soon!
xoxo,
Lia.
Hello everyone,
well first I wanna say Happy Eid Mubarak to those who celebrate it.
Sorry for my disappearing again since the last post.
And I am so sorry if I blogged any crap here in my own blog, oh well told ya, shit happen, as always. OH sh*t, I really2 f*cked up this time, no jokes.
It's happening again, as what I've been through last year. I just know that 8 was my lucky number *I guess*, but really, August isn't my month even it's 8! Flashback to what happen last year if some of you understand my story.
It's kinda fucked up isn't, when you love someone, deep in your heart, you want to be with him, NO MATTER WHAT. But what would you do if that someone doesn't intended to stay? And choose that one who've been screwed you in past a year back then! *Imagine you were me and said in your mind, "what the f*ck!?".* Oh oh, told ya, SHIT HAPPENS. haha..
It's so heartbreaking right, the one who told you that they love you, suddenly leave, and tell you to find another man, who's better than him, wishing you had a good life. Oh well well.. No words I can say could change anything. You know what it feels like when the one you love the most say that thing? It's like I was punched, straight in my face. Oh okay, well maybe that was the last time you'll ever see me smiling like it's okay, and I'll get over it.
Oh you know, I'm not that kind of smiley face mode ON or OFF.
Told ya, my dad who's never asked me "are you not in the mood?" suddenly asked me that question today, then I tell him "nothing, just tired."
Oh world's full of lie.
I know it's my fault, oh I didn't regret everything that's happened back then, maybe I just know before this happen, well actually my head knows sooner or later this will happen, but my heart still can't accept it yet. Oh screw me, I just hoping the impossible thing will be possible if I have faith on it. Well I guess I'm wrong. :)
"I know that someone came into our life to teach you lessons, well God let that person crossed our path just to teach you the lesson you have to learn."
It's either to let go, or to stay with them for the rest of our lives. OH I really wish the reason is to stay for the rest of my life. But I guess God didn't have the same idea with me. haha.. You know, I only had one wish, I only want once in a lifetime boyfriend will be my once in a lifetime husband, now it's all gone. I can't fulfill my lifetime wishes. Pity me. haha I'm a daydreamer, I dream of the thing that not everyone can do it.
Someone told me, "heads up girl, you're precious, he's
dumb enough to let a girl like you go from his life. Cheer up! Be happy!
Oh please, don't get hurt more.."
Well that someone just one of
my friend that I met at beauty course. Not gonna tell her name, but it
means a lot for me, remembering that she didn't know me well enough and
long enough to understand that something's not okay with me. Thankyou,
at least there's someone who care.
Two days back then, I asked God,
"Why me?"
"Why this is happened to me?"
"Why again?"
Still, I didn't get an answers. Not yet.
He's my first, even when he said that he might be my first boyfriend, but not my first love.
I still count him as my first love. I know this wasn't my first heartbreak, I had many okay.
But I don't know why, I just couldn't let him go.
I asked myself "Why?" I didn't get any answer either.
My mind told me to let go, but my heart couldn't.
I told myself, "If we both really meant to be together, no matter how long, how far, how hard it is, you will always find a way to be together, no matter what. Let them go, if he's coming back to you, he's yours. Good things happen to those who patiently wait. Maybe we're not meant to be together today, but someday, we will."
I keep reminding myself to not to look back, I packed all the stuffs, pictures, and everything. I told myself, let the memories remain just as memories, you have to move forward, show him that he's wrong, that he should've try, because I know I was worth the fight.
OH I wish forgetting people is as easier as deleting photos from i-phone!! :(
No words can exactly describes my feelings for now.
OH God, I thankful enough I had one friend, not just a friend, she's my best friend, my sister, my partner in crime, she knows me from the beginning to the end of story. She accompanied me when I need someone the most. She cheer me up. I'm glad to have her. Thankyou Gab for always stay by my side when everyone else's leave. Thanks for understanding me, thanks for handling me in my hard times. It's good enough to have one friend that knows you than having a tons of friend but none of them understand you.
I really wish this pain will gone really soon.
And I'll be okay, someday, just not today. :(
I thank God that I am be able to meet someone as good as you are, be able to spent almost a year knowing each other, I learned a lot from you, thank you for almost everything even if it's good or bad. I just wish you had a great life, take care of yourself, and learn to be more mature from now. Good luck for your job, just so you know that my prayer always be with you, no matter what happen. God always be with you. :')
"Ich liebe dich mehr als du weißt.
Ich hoffe, dass wir eines Tages wieder zusammen sein."
The last big hug :)
xoxo,
Lia.
