Friday, October 18, 2013

What a year can do

Hello everyone,
so here I am today with another chit-chat time again.
hahaha so sorry if you're damn bored with my blog contents.
Well you know in life, sometimes we're happy, we're sad, we're confuse, etcetera. And I'm on the middle of nowhere I don't even know what exactly I'm feeling right now. Weird. Yeah. Whatever you said.

So, I know it's in the middle of the night, where everyone is barely now sleeping and having a sweet dream, while me still awake and doing some random things, like this, chit-chat with my own laptop, listening to some random music, well I put it on shuffle, then checking on my facebook, trying few clothes (oh well idk why I do this such of things in 2 am LOL I think I'm a weirdo), looking at my beauty space OH i mean my own table with full of any kind of makeup, well most of all, I think a lot, I mean I've got this freshly brain in almost every midnight, oh yeah.. *am I too talkative? lol*

Now, what I was thinking is how my life changes a lot in just a year, looking back on last year, where I still a "jobless", you could say "pengangguran" in Indonesian, all I can think about is holiday, hangout, party-ing (well I start to go to such club last year before my birthday), shopping, manicure-pedicure, etc.

And thank God, now I had a job, I start to build up my career, I already taken my beauty class and ready to get another course in few months ahead, well I know I still can't get over from partying kind of lifestyle, pity me, but I'll make sure I will get over it really soon.

And umm.. Thank God for what you've done for my life, even if it's not always good, I really thankful, especially for last birthday present from you. I never ask for more, but you give me more than I deserve, well I didn't wish it would happen that day, but it was my best birthday ever, I can see that one person who I really wanted to meet, and voila.
Ok, now it's nothing.
Yeah.. I know it's been a rough year for me. I was end up getting dumped by someone I really loved, yeah that someone who I really wanted to meet on my last birthday last year, hahaha.. Well love sucks, oh no, people around us sucks.
But, yeah.. That's a part of life, you can't always get what you want right? :)
It's pretty amazing what a year can do, well you'll never know how far you had change if you didn't look back, you can look back but don't dwell on past, it's kinda useless you know.

I am glad that I can get through it little by little, there was something I really grateful about, problems that makes me who I am today, I know I'm not strong enough, but I know I will get through everything, if I want to try.
Still can't get through it? TRY HARDER. 
I know it's easier to talk like that, but I exactly know how hard is it, but once you get through it, you know that it's the best thing that you can do. Sometimes what I really need is just time, people said time heals almost everything, but no, your wounds might heal, but the scars will always there, even if it's invisible. Agree? hahahaha why am I got a lot of quotations in my head huh?

So yesterday I hangout with few friends, well they're just like my third family, one of my friend said that "Cinta itu tidak harus memiliki", once I agreed with that quote, but the boys didn't. hahaha Idk why, but they said that "kalau kamu selalu mikir cinta tidak harus memiliki, maka kamu ga akan pernah bisa maju kedepan." Umm I kinda confuse with this FYI. People said, if you love someone, let them go, set them free, if they're comeback, s/he's YOURS. Oh it happen once, but yeah he's not mine eventually. hahaha..

Just so you know, I only said what I want to say, I tell you this long long story, doesn't mean that I still can't get over him okay, that's a part of life, you can never really get over something you know? Can you see, I'm still me, I'm alive, I never tied my life hanging on someone so when they're left, I still alive, breathing, and go on with my life. That's true, don't tie your happiness on someone else's  life. They might once said that they can't live without you, but now SEE? they're still alive right? hahaha kidding. :)

When i said, I am happy if you're happy, even if it's not with me, it's fucking true. You know, I'd rather be a HONEST asshole than a LYING bitch. 
I know exactly how it feels to be lied to. I don't want anyone else to feel the same way like what I already feel before. You could say that I'm blind that time, I know the truth but still act like a foolish girl who put everything aside just because of the love she had for that someone who never ever love her, respects her, and want her. 
No one ever wants it, but people have to fall over sometimes, not because they deserve it, it's a way of life teaches you how to be a good and better person in the future.

So maybe, this is the end of chit-chat time.
It took me one hour to type this emotional kind of post. LOL
I'll seeyou in another post!

                                                                                          Lia ♥

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