Wednesday, December 31, 2014

End of 2014.

Hello everyone,
so here it is, the end of 2014 in just 1,5 hours to go.
It's been a long long journey to reach up the page 365 of 365.
Through the happy and sad time, through ups and down, yes it's been a beautiful year for me, especially for my career, thank God for guiding me this far.
I've been feeling so down lately (read: frustrated).
Been struggling to beat it, trust me, if you can walk in my shoes, you'll be traumatized for life.
If it's not God who strengthen me during this time, I might be just commit suicide. Haha. Kidding. I'm not that stupid though.

Thankyou for my dearest bestfriend Gabriella who still there to listens to me, especially my super drama and never ending sad love story, I know you get bored of it at times, but thankyou for always there to listen when nobody really there (even sometimes you're gone too). I wish you a long happy life Gab.
And also my bff from elementary school Kartika, who care & listens to my problems eventhough we're not constantly talk to each other or barely hangout together in past a year.

And today I am here, in this really hour, no party, no drinks, no dancing on the dancefloor, not putting on any makeup, just here staring at my laptop and listens to some random musics on playlist.

I wanted to make myself resolutions on 2015, I mean so to-do list. It's hard to-do the task that I've made in past few years. Oh yes everything is in delay to be exact. I promised myself that I WILL DO WHAT I HAD TO DO starting from delayed to-do list 2012, 2013 and 2014.

Okay, so here's my newyear 2015 resolutions :
1. Lose another 5 to 10 kilos (AMEN).
2. Work more harder.
3. Forget everything that hurt me in the past 3 years (almost).
4. Let go of the things that I can't change, if it's meant to be it will be.
5. I'll go and get what I want, not just wandering & think "what if".
7. Getting a new haircut (oh maybe)
8. Give and take.
9. Be smart enough to choose people who stay & need to leave your life, for your own good & own sake.
10. Smart enough to show people what exactly how you feel.
11. Reduce my temper.
12. Reduce partying & reduce drinking too much alcohol too.
13. Live more healthy (I wish).
14. Forgive mistakes but never forget the lesson you get.
15. Forgive any sins I did in past few years.

Well that's a lot, to be continued I guess. :)
I'm wishing you a happy new year 2015
May joy and happiness surround you.
Let's start a new life from page 1 of 365.
Seeyou again in January 2015.


Pray for QZ8501

Hello everyone,
We're few more hours before New Year and having a heartbreaking news on Sunday, 28th December 2014.
We still don't know what happened yet, the cause of the lost airplanes of Airasia Airlines.

Deepest condolence,
My prayers goes to those who left behind.
Please stay strong and keep praying for all the victim's families & friends.
It is so so heartbreaking news to all of us, especially Indonesian.
Everything happens for reasons, God give us life, and God takes us back, in any time he wants.
Can't imagine that the last time you said goodbye will truly be the last. :(
Rest in peace to all the victims.

I wish there's still hope and some of the will be found alive.


Monday, December 22, 2014

Heart to heart

Hello everyone,
been few weeks didn't check on my blog, kinda busy with my bro's wedding day last week.
It's kinda unbelievable that he's now a married man. HAHAHA.
Well yeah.. it means that now I am the last one. OH, I still had one left cousin haven't married yet.

It's December already, yeah time flies so fast, and it's almost Christmas.
Well today.. I guess we had a heart-to-heart kind of thing again. After few months didn't get chances to "curhat" kind of thing here. I know that it's not a necessary thing, but here I am, I'm good at writing not talking especially when it's face-to-face. I go blank. I know I had a lot to ask, but seems like I couldn't find the right words to ask. Or maybe I am too afraid to face the truth. Well yeah that's me.
I'd rather keep it to myself than to express what I really felt, and then regret for not asking what I really want to ask.

So here's the thing, let me ask you a question.
I know this is weird. Don't get me wrong.
"Have you ever love someone to the point where you want to kill yourself for loving them too much, but you can't do anything about it, and when you had a chance to tell 'em because they asked, but the answer you got is too heartbreaking. And it stays on your mind, affects your mood, and you don't know what to do next.
And do you ever feel.. it seems like you really win, but the situation won't let you win?"
Okay I know my question is a little bit confusing.
I guess it's just me who can't get over something so fast, like "oh okay, you suck, get lost."
My life is too ironic I guess. I couldn't find any word to describe what I really feel exactly.

At some point, you know that maybe there's a little bit of feelings they left about you, maybe it's love, or maybe hatred towards you. Who knows?
And maybe they really love you, but their actions seems just... not reflecting that they really love you. Because if you really love someone, you didn't destroy the one you love.
Oh yeah, I guess yeah that's the matter..

Still, I had tons of questions that haven't been answered yet.
Can I just lists it below? Well, okay..
1. Why me?
2. Why am I always be the one who got blamed for making a decision that we both know I am not the one who made mistakes?
3. Why she can, but I can't?
4. Is it wrong to be "still" in love with someone I can't have?
5. Give me some proof that if you really love me back then.
6. Why did you force me to say what I don't wanna say in front of you? And then you give me an un-acceptable answer after that.
7.  Why did you still there, when you said that we will never be "us". (if you got what I mean)
8. If you tell me that it's for my own sake that we can never be together, it's my choice if I wanted to stay, and it's my choice too if I wanted to leave. CAN'T YOU SEE THAT after the time pass?
9. No matter how hard I try, and no matter how fuckin' tired I am, I can never erase you from my mind.
10. I know maybe at some point people said that you bring all the negative side for me. But I didn't think so. They maybe just knew the story, but not the one who walked in my shoes.
11. If you really want me to live my own way, forget everything, and get over my feelings, WHY ARE YOU STILL THERE?
12. I exactly know that having another man maybe can help, but I DON'T WANT TO.
I surely know exactly how it feels.
13. Be careful for your words, it hurts me, really. You just can't see it through my face. But I swear it hurts, and maybe if you were me, you'll be in tears.
14. If I already ask you those, what's the point of this all if all you can say is "we don't have a chance".

I still had TONSSSS of questions!!!

I am sorry that I'm kinda mellow-dramatic bitch lately.
You can see it from what I've posted, every quotes, I just need to let go of some feelings that kills me inside. I don't know where to vent my feelings.
I never thought that I would be this weak, yes I'M FUCKIN' WEAK.
Maybe you see me smiling, but it doesn't mean that I'm happy.
Yeah I got a job, my job contains my hobby, It goes really well from the very beginning, but I couldn't help that at some point I feel tired, I had none to whine, I am tired to listen but nobody's listening to mine.

Maybe it's not about trying to fix something that's already broken, maybe it's about to throw all the broken pieces and start to build a new one.
Maybe it's the thing that could not be fixed, and you do have to be willing to let go.

Somedays are too hard for me to live it like nothing really matters.
I pray every night that maybe God is willing to give me things that I wanted most, I asked Him every night, I please Him, because I know that God always listens to His child. Even answer to their questions. Maybe you didn't get it right after you pray, but eventually He will. I know that He got the most amazing plans for His child.

Oh God,
I didn't know what to say. :(

Friday, December 12, 2014

49K Visitors!

Thank you for those who spend a little time to read my amateur blog.
I promise I will try more harder to maintain this blog more often! :)


White swan

Hello everyone,
so long didn't catch up with you guys.
Been so busy preparing my bro's wedding, oh it's on 14 Dec this week!
Such a hectic week for all of my whole family, been busy preparing our dresses, vendors, foods, invitations, and so on. Oh gosh..
And oh, I just got my first headpiece, well it's an endorse anyway.
It's from my pretty young aunty, her shop name is Liping_bowtique, please kindly check it on Instagram, she sells a lot of headpiece and it's 101% HANDMADE!!
I bet you'll like them as much as I am.
I rarely use any headpiece in a special occasions such family party or friends wedding. I am keeping myself elegantly simple but stand out when it comes about dress up. LOL. And mostly BLACK.
So here it is.. pardon my selfie time :p

Pretty right? Oh thanks :p
The dress is mine which I once wore it at my bff's wedding last year, AND HAPPY it fits perfectly this time, it doesn't fit me right last year. So I am happy!! *ROTFL*
Well I guess I need another new haircut soon. look at that not so fresh haircut.

So that's a little update from me today. :)
If you wonder what products I've used above, go check my old post.
It's still the same products, except the illuminating powder. I use NAKED by Urban Decay.
Review will be posted soon!


Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Too Faced MELTED Liquified Long Wear Lipstick

Hello everyone,
so as you can see on my instagram, I've been posted a picture of me using Too faced MELTED Liquified Long Wear Lipstick in Fuchsia. and YES it's a pretty color if you love bright lipstick.
I am no fan of bright lipstick except for this MELTED & Chanel Rouge Allure Velvet no.37 "L'exuberante" as you can see it here didn't get a chance to blog about this lipstick tho, Chanel Rouge Coco no.19 here, and YSL RPC no.52 "Rosy Coral" here too.
So here it is, c'mon take a look! I'm sure you love itttt as much as I do.
Let's get MELTED!! :D


Okay that's enough for my selfie while using melted in fuchsia. hahaha :D
Here's some of the products that I've used in picture above :

• Face :
- Maybelline BB Cream "Fresh".
- Maybelline BB Stick "Fresh".

- Maybelline Powder Foundation 03.
• Cheeks :
- Sephora Sundisc shade N°3.
- NYX Mosaic Blush Powder "Love".
- MAC Mineralize Skinfinish "Soft & Gentle".

• Eyebrows : @anastasiabeverlyhills Dipbrow Pomade in "Chocolate". (From@houseofmakeup)

• Eyes :
- MIZZU Eyeliner in Black.
- NYX Mosaic Powder "Highlight".
- Elianto Matte Brown Eyeshadows.

• Lips :

- Maybelline Baby Lips
- Too Faced MELTED Liquified Long Wear Lipstick "Fuchsia". (From @cristalbeauties)

• Contact Lenses : Pandora Vanilla Shake in Pink. (From @eyelovin)

I was intended to buy the "peony" one as soon as possible but I guess I have to stop shopping fpr a while cuz I've been crazy for shopping in few days back then, whether it's online or shopping mall, whether it's clothes or cosmetics tho.
So I guess this is the end of post!
I am so sorry for the lack of posts I made here.
I promise will blog more soon :)


Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Be the right man & be the right woman.

Hello everyone,
So I am here today with this little article posted by my friend at the groups, a little thought for young man & young lady here about finding your one and only soulmate.
Such a great article for a single people (including me :p)
And for the bold texts, that's what inspires me through this articles. Thankyou for sharing this auntie :)

Rasanya hampir tidak dapat dipercaya sekarang ibu menulis soal ini kepada dua anak laki laki yang sangat membanggakan hati. Ibu tidak bisa lebih bersyukur atau meminta kepada Tuhan memperoleh putra yang lebih baik daripada kalian. Kalian bertiga adalah anugerah terbesar dan terindah yang Tuhan berikan kepada ibu. I could never ask for more.

Membesarkan kalian adalah masa masa terindah dalam hidupku, sekalipun itu harus ditukar dengan prospek perkembangan karir, ibu bahagia memilih menjadi ibu rumah tangga dan menyaksikan kalian tumbuh.
Pada akhirnya ibu harus bicara soal jodoh, mengingat saat ini  kalian sudah cukup pusing dikejar kejar cewek yang tentu saja mengagumi kualitas yang ada dalam diri kalian. You were brought up with lots of love and values  from your parents. Never forget that.

Rasanya ibu tidak harus panjang lebar mengulang kembali bagaimana menjadi laki laki sejati. Satu kalimat sederhana mampu mengungkapkan petuah panjang soal itu : Contohilah ayahmu.

Soal cewek, ibu dapat memahami rasa heran maupun kebingungan kalian. Wanita memang tidak mudah dipahami. Sampai detik ini juga ibu kadang sukar memahami diri sendiri. Itu bagian misteri perempuan yang justru menambah keindahannya. Satu pemahaman umum sederhana adalah wanita ingin disayangi dan dilindungi.

Soal selera secara fisik, ibu tidak perlu komen panjang lebar. Masing masing kalian memiliki selera berbeda, dan itu sah sah saja.. Selera itu adalah hak prerogatif yang tidak bisa diganggu gugat. Yang pasti secara jujur ibu harus mengatakan bahwa inner beauty adalah hal terpenting, tapi inner beauty tanpa dibungkus dengan kulit luar yang apik akan menjadi kurang maksimal karena kalian sebagai laki laki sejati tidak mau merasa malu membawa istri dan mengenalkannya kepada orang lain, terutama sahabat dan keluarga. Kalian berdua sudah cukup dewasa untuk mengartikan ini…

Dari dulu ibu tidak pernah rewel soal berteman. Yang selalu ibu ingatkan adalah harus selalu baik dan sopan kepada orang lain. Berkawanlah sebanyak mungkin. Jangan memilih milih teman karena status sosialnya maupun dilihat dari uangnya. Tidak semua yang kaya itu baik, tidak semua yang miskin juga baik. Uang hanyalah sarana dan alat membeli sesuatu yang dibutuhkan dan diinginkan. Uang itu perlu, oleh karenanya aturlah uang dengan baik, dan jangan pernah membiarkan uang mengatur kalian, apalagi sampai bisa membeli hati nurani.

Entahlah kalau ibu ibu yang lain… tapi ketika menyangkut soal memilih jodoh, ibu harus minta maaf lebih dulu. Jujur ibu akan sanget bawel soal ini.  Ibu tidak pernah mungkin bisa benar benar objektif menilai wanita yang akan menjadi istri kalian, tapi sedapat mungkin ibu janji akan bersikap adil dan fair sebatas kemampuan ibu. You two know that I am a fair person. Ibu benci ketidak adilan.

Meskipun sejujurnya ibu sudah berulang kali mengatakan… rasanya tidak ada wanita yang cukup pantas mendapatkan kalian. Ini  adalah  ungkapan kebanggaan seorang ibu kepada anak laki lakinya. Overdosis ? mungkin memang kedengaran berlebihan…but I can’t help it. Kelak istri kalian juga akan merasakan hal yang sama jika kalian memiliki anak laki laki…

Memilih istri itu mungkin kurang lebih mirip dengan memilih mobil… Ada begitu banyak ragam jenis mobil dengan spesifikasi yang berbeda. Kenali diri kalian.. ketahui apa yang menjadi selera kalian.  Satu hal prinsip yang paling berbeda antara istri dan mobil adalah : Istri itu abadi. Tidak bisa ditukar tambah kapan saja kalian mau. When you get married, you married for life.

Jangan pernah menikah hanya karena merasa sudah umurnya harus menikah.Menikahlah karena kalian merasa pasti bahwa dengan dirinya kalian akan saling membahagiakan selamanya.

Ini yang bisa ibu katakan mengenai petunjuk umum secara garis besar ketika itu menyangkut calon istri…
Look for the right chemistry. Kalian akan tahu itu ketika bertemu dengan yang cocok. Kalian akan menyadari bahwa rasanya masuk akal kenapa selama ini yang lain kurang menarik, dan ada sesuatu yang rasanya kurang sebelum bertemu dengannya.

Ada pesona tersendiri yang dibawanya yang memang melekat dalam dirinya tanpa dibuat buat.  Ibu pikir dulu ayahmu jatuh cinta dengan ibu karena diantara teman teman calon dokternya yang lembut feminin, tiba tiba nongol seorang wanita yang lain dari yang lain. Yang bisa memanjat pohon dan berantem dengan sangat baik… Rupanya pria kalem yang tenang itu tergeletak tak berdaya dengan seorang gadis blak blakanyang kalau makan tidak pernah malu malu, dan bisa menyatakan pendapatnya dengan jujur,  sekalipun harus berbeda… Siapa yang bisa menyangka ? Tanya ayahmu soal chemistry… ibu tidak pernah bosan mendengar cerita klasik bagaimana dia jatuh cinta dengan ibu…

- Nilai kebaikannya bukan semata dari cara dia memperlakukan kalian, tapi bagaimana dia memperlakukan orang lain, terutama mereka yang lebih tidak beruntung dari dirinya.

Tentu saja wanita akan baik kepada pria yang dicintainya. Kebaikan sejati itu dinilai dari bagaimana dia bersikap dan memperlakukan orang lain. Apakah dia adil dan jujur ? Apakah dia penuh belas kasih? Bagaimana dia menghormati orang tua dan memperlakukan teman temannya ? Dengan siapa dia bergaul ? Bagaimana gaya hidupnya ? Apakah dia bisa tersenyum sama lebarnya ketika diajak makan di restaurant mahal  ataupun di warung Tegal yang murah meriah?

Perlu waktu untuk menilai ini semua. Tapi kalau soal jodoh, selalu ibu katakan, jangan merasa diburu buru. Take your time… give time enough time.
- Pilihlah wanita yang mampu menertawakan dirinya sendiri. Ini kemampuan hebat yang sangat perlu. Hidup ini akan membawa kalian kepada banyak masalah dan lika liku… Tapi tidak ada yang lebih menyenangkan daripada  hidup bersama dengan wanita yang mampu membuat kalian tertawa.
Pilihlah wanita yang bisa tertawa ketika kalian mengatakan “kartu ATM-ku tertelan lagi….

Selera humor yang baik itu bukan menertawakan orang lain, tapi lebih kepada bagaimana dia bisa menertawakan dirinya sendiri dan melihat sisi lucu dan baik dari segala sesuatu.  Pada akhirnya cinta yang bergelora itu akan stabil… kupu kupu yang terbang tak tentu arah dalam perut kalian ketika pertama jatuh cinta, akan hinggap dengan tenang dan menetap, digantikan dengan rasa nyaman yang  menyenangkan…, tapi perekat cinta yang awet adalah tertawa bersama menjalani kehidupan rumah tangga kalian.
- Menikahlah dengan wanita yang memiliki prinsip hidup yang baik dan menghormati prinsip prinsipnya. Dia tidak harus selalu setuju dengan kalian. Buat apa menikah dengan orang yang selalu mengatakan ya ? When two person always agree, one is not necessary…

Pilihlah wanita yang mampu menyikapi perbedaan pendapat, mampu menghargai perbedaan selera dan berkompromi secara fair…
Menikahlah dengan wanita yang mampu bicara jujur demi kebaikan.

- Ini yang terakahir, tapi bukan berarti tidak penting…. Menikahlah dengan wanita yang menghormati kalian. Ibu akan menjadi orang yang paling naik pitam jika kalian dikasari. Terutama di depan umum. Never .. ever let a woman be rude to you.

Ibu bisa mengatakan ini karena ibu mendidik kalian untuk selalu menghormati dan menghargai wanita.  Cinta tanpa penghargaan bagaikan mobil tanpa setir, tidak berguna.

Well, you know your mother.. ini dulu yang bisa ibu katakan. Mudah mudahan tidak ada lagi yang perlu ibu tambahkan  kecuali bahwa I love you and will always be proud of you , my sons.
For Russell and Reinhart, with unlimited love from your Mum.)

Written by Ellen Maringka for Kompasiana Muda.

Thursday, November 6, 2014

Anastasia Dipbrow Pomade

Hello everyone,
so here I am today presenting my own review for the best eyebrow product from ANASTASIA BEVERLY HILLS, it's their Dipbrow Pomade.
I've been curious to try the dipbrow pomade, because some people said that it is not so easy to wear, especially if you're not so good doing your eyebrows or if you're not a talented (I didn't said that I am talented though, so no hard feeling guys, it's just word play LOL).
And yeah I admit that it is a little bit tricky at first, you can easily wipe the pomade if you're making mistake while you made the arch or whatever, but once it dries, you can't just wipe it with cotton buds, you need to use your remover as well.
I always use pencil to do my eyebrows daily, but I couldn't help myself fall in love with this pomade from the first time I tried. You can use an angle brow brush to make it easier.
If you're going to swim or had to work out, this is the best choice for an eyebrow products that will LAST LONGER and didn't smudge once you let it dry.
I am using this pomade while I'm working out recently because while you work out, you're sweating a lot of course. I will use this soon to go to swim and see if this pomade really stay in place, and I will let you know! :)
I don't know why but in current few months I prefer a simple makeup look, well I am using a brown natural color contact lens as well, it's GEO Rainshower in brown (it's brand new edition FYI). I never found another good looking brown contact lens except this one, and it is SO COMFY! You should try if you had a problem using contact lens in brown color before.
I bought two different colors of ABH dipbrow pomade, it's chocolate and taupe (it's a new color), taupe is more brown-ash kind of color so you can use it daily because they had a very natural color.
Bought both of it at @houseofmakeup (Check out their INSTAGRAM, it's based in Surabaya, Indonesia).
You can also find it at SEPHORA, in US of course.
ABH didn't launch yet in Asia. Too bad. I wish I could just buy them straight at Sephora near Asia, of course the other products from ABH too.

And here's the look that I've made using this two!
Check it out :)
Using the chocolate ABH dipbrow pomade!
As you know, I am madly in love with bold eyebrows :)

And here's the taupe ABH dipbrow pomade!
And yes this is the best color if you want to look natural, Really! :D

I can't wait to try another color real soon, but I guess now it is more than enough for the next 1 year drawing an eyebrows.
I will try another eyebrow products too when I had a chance, and of course I will let you guys know.
Which brand & color is you fave? :)

Seeyou in another post!


Wednesday, October 29, 2014


Hello everyone,
so yesterday (okay it's 40 minutes ago btw) was my 22nd birthday, YEAH I am officially 22!! It's on October'28, 2014.

So here's a little speech I made yesterday as seen on my Instagram,

"Thankyou for another new chapter of my life, it's only by HIS grace that I could survive this tough life so far with His truly uncountable blessings & His kindness, through the good & the bad, with the ups & down, happy or sad. Meeting a couple of new friends, losing some people (yes people come & goes), having another new experience, and know how to enjoy life while you working hard too.
This shall be the new beginning for me, while I'm growing up, I should become a little more wiser than I am now, I need to improve myself to be a better version of me than myself yesterday. Thankyou for those who stands beside me through the bad & the good times! Another year of me had passed, another greater future is waiting, and well.. now I am officially 22!"

It is sad actually that I didn't received any greetings from the one, yeah.. this one special person I mean.
Well yeah, things didn't happen just like what I want. I understand.
But it's okay, really. Maybe he's just too busy. It's fine. :)

And OH, look what I've got this year :)
My BFF is just so sweet HAHAHA (but well I wish I got this from that special person)

And also cake!! Thankyou my 2nd sister in law & ma bro :-*

Thankyou for the well wishes everyone! Most of their wishes were about getting succeed in my career, getting more skinnier (yeah my wish too), hoping to find a good BF real soon, and also hoping that I could leave the nightlife kind of lifestyle as soon as possible (I will soon), and all the best for my future. I am truly blessed getting another chance to live another awesome year surrounded by families & friends! THANKYOU!! :)


Friday, October 10, 2014

Yves Saint Laurent RPC 52

Hello everyone,
been a month didn't posted any blogpost here..
Kinda busy with my schedule lately, I am so so sorry :(
SO, here I am today with the topic above, yes!
Yves Saint Laurent or spell it YSL.
I just bought the IT lipstick lately, it's Rosy Coral, yes RPC 52, as you can see on the other beauty blog & reviews. This lipstick is an award winners!
It's sold out anywhere, well couldn't find it in Indonesia too.
Thanks to Cheon Song-Yi's who's wearing this RPC in her dramas.

Rouge Pur Couture Rouge Pur Couture

As you can see in "My Love from The Star" or You Who Came from The Stars", starring Kim So Hyun who played as Do Min-Joon & Gianna Jun who played as Cheon Song-Yi.
She wears these IT lipstick, now you know.

Pretty right? Yes I do agree.
I rarely wear lipstick on weekdays or weekend, but I collected some of lipstick, because I just loveeee pretty colors.
So here's mine, my own swatch of RPC 52 ;)

Products that I've used (as seen on my Instagram):

• Face :
- Maybelline BB Cream "Fresh".
- Dermacolor D2.

• Cheeks :
- Sephora Sundisc shade N°3.
- The Balm Instain "ARGYLE".
- MAC Mineralize Skinfinish "Soft & Gentle".

• Eyebrows : @anastasiabeverlyhills Dipbrow Pomade in "Taupe". (From@houseofmakeup)

• Eyes :
- Maybelline Gel Eyeliner in Black.
- NYX Mosaic Powder "Highlight".
- Elianto Matte Brown Eyeshadows.

• Lips : YSL Rouge Pur Couture N°52. (From @cristalbeauties)

• Contact Lenses : Pandora Vanilla Shake in Pink. (From @eyelovin)

I bought it by online on Instagram from @cristalbeauties.
And thankyou for saving these babies for me & my bff too! :)
For daily updates, please kindly follow me on Instagram @lia_octaviani.
Till the next post everyone..