Just a little thought

Hello everyone,
so here I am again, with some little thought just now, well I don't know, I feel like this blog is the only friend of mine for now, on this time I mean, it's 12 a.m, and yeah.. I just finished watching the IT movie, "The Fault in our Stars". Oh my God, I can't help but burst into tears. It's sweet, really, trust me. But it's also heartbreaking. Don't know is it because the movie is too sad, or it is just me. Oh no, the woman beside me burst into tears too. So I guess I'm normal. haha :)

Okay, first of all I just wondering that I was Hazel *cough*, she's the main character beside Gus. And while watching this sweet little guy named Gus, just made my heart flatters. I just wish that my future man *cough* will love me like Gus's did, oh maybe just like him, except the cancer and the death part, PLEASE NO. And oh this was my favorite part, while Isaac (Gus's bff) said, "I do not believe I have ever met a more physically attractive person who was more acutely aware of his own physical attractiveness.
'But I will say this: When the scientists of the future show up at my house with robot eyes and they tell me to try them on, I will tell the scientists to screw off, because I do not want to see a world without him."
Well, let me admit it, that quotes on the end is one of my fave, well I don't have a chance to say it to someone yet. :')

And this is my fave part of Hazel's :
“My name is Hazel. Augustus Waters was the great sat-crossed love of my life. Ours was an epic love story, and I won't be able to get more than a sentence into it without disappearing into a puddle of tears. Gus knew. Gus knows. I will not tell you our love story, because-like all real love stories-it will die with us, as it should. I'd hoped that he'd be eulogizing me, because there's no one I'd rather have..." I started crying. "Okay, how not to cry. How am I-okay. Okay."

I took a few deep breaths and went back to the page. "I can't talk about our love story, so I will talk about math. I am not a mathematician, but I know this: There are infinite numbers between 0 and 1. There's .1 and .12 and .112 and infinite collection of others. Of course, there is a Bigger infinite set of numbers between 0 and 2, or between 0 and a million. Some infinities are bigger than other infinities. A writer we used to like taught us that. There are days, many of them, when I resent the size of my unbounded set. I want more numbers than I'm likely to get, and God, I want more numbers for Augustus Waters than he got. But, Gus, my love, I cannot tell you how thankful I am for our little infinity. I wouldn't trade it for the world. You gave me a forever within the numbered days, and I'm grateful.” 


And the next fave part is THIS :
“What else? She is so beautiful. You don’t get tired of looking at her. You never worry if she is smarter than you: You know she is. She is funny without ever being mean. I love her. I am so lucky to love her, Van Houten. You don’t get to choose if you get hurt in this world, old man, but you do have some say in who hurts you. I like my choices. I hope she likes hers.” 

Really I can't help but my tears keep falling down while watching it. Well maybe I used my heart a lot while watching some movies, yeah.. I just keep wondering if I'm in their positions. As you grow older, your heart speaks louder than your mind, just like acts speak louder than words. Get it?

Did I told you that I watched it alone in cinema? Is it weird? HELL NO.
If you know me, I'm a loner kind of person. I enjoyed things alone. I drive alone. I sing alone. I eat, most of time alone. I enjoyed me time. Well.. as long as I can do it myself, and I am happy with it even if I'm alone, that's literally fine. You could say I'm kind of freak. I don't mind. I enjoyed movies alone, most of the time, I hate being in crowd for some reasons. I started hating in a group of people, let me say, group of strangers. I don't know why, even when I'm in a group of people, I always feel like I was alone. So what's the difference being alone & being in a group but still feeling alone? I guess I'm the only one who held the answers. I'll keep it for myself. 

There's time I needed someone to stay by my side, but the time isn't right, or maybe the person I wanted to stay isn't right, etcetera, couldn't help but that's life. You can;t always get whatever you want. Something worth having doesn't come easy. I knew it, for a long time ago. Just like I said, "Easy come, easy go." Remember?

Dude, you have no idea how hurt I am by now. While some people convince me to forget someone, but I couldn't. Ah maybe I could, but it surely takes time, a long time. I am a typical person that once I hurt, it will always there, no matter how hard I'm trying to heal, but the scars is always be there.

When I love, I love deeply, deep than the ocean. But once I hate, nothing could change it. And while some poeple shows some wealth, I don't care, no matter how big or small is your house, no matter how much money you had, your grave is all in the same size, even if you're rich or poor. So stay humble.

And ohh.. I'm a vindictive kind of person, I will always remember every tiny little mistake, every details. Be careful, I might be keep my mouth shuts, and not saying a single word, but inside, I count & I know some bullshits through people's mouth. I may sound & act like a fool, but you never know what's going through my mind. So, watch your move & watch your words. :)

Well that's just a little bad side about me. I'm a good person but NOT an angel, I'm a bad kind of person, but NOT an evil. My behavior based on how you treat me. :)
Good day everyone.