Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Heart to heart

Hello everyone,
It's been a while since I had a "heart-to-heart" kind of post here right?
Hahahaha.. So today I'm here with this old kind of topic.
Well, you might know without I had to explain, it's always about love, heartbreak, disappointments, etc.
Yeah I know, life is never get easy right.
When you want something, you've got to try your best to get it, and when you already got it, you've got to try your best to keep it.

DUH, I wish I could just let go of my anger, you don't really understand how painful it is to see, to feel, to love, and to hold on to someone who barely don't know how you really feel, so am I. I don't really know what you're really think about me, how you really feel about me, how much you love me.
It's just like.... hold on to something that we don't know where they lead.

There's a time when I feel all tired, lose hope, and kinda think why don't you kill me instead of giving me this unbearably kind of pain?
There's a time I asked my self, "why?"
There's a time I said to my self, "It doesn't matter if I die tomorrow, I have nothing to worried about, nor consider about."
There's a time I said to people, "I don't even need anyone to be married, as long as I live happily, because you know what? If you love, love just make us a weak person, you breakdown, your heart breaks, and DUH.. all you can do is just seeing old pictures, listen to the old records, laugh because you remember how great your life back then, and how fucked up your life by now."

I told myself to let go, but I couldn't. 
It's just.. there's something about him I can't let go. You think it's easy to move on, but it's NOT!

Yeah I really did, I always look into pictures, and remember how happy we are back then, how I wish you're still by my side, you're still holding me.
I listen to the old voicenotes, just to make me feel a little more better to hear your voice before I go to sleep, and told ya the truth, I fell asleep right after I listened to your voices through our old voicenotes.
Go on, laugh a little harder. Hahaha pity me.
Still had the bear in my bed, and sleeping right next to me, seriously.
Damn, I think I'm going crazy soon, wtf.

Well you can say that I'm the girl who can't be moved. LOL
I barely asked myself why can't I just move on, just like few years ago, when I really had my very first heartbreak. hahaha.. remember my old blog in 2009 or 2010?
Oh old times, honestly I don't really care about it anymore.

Time flies, season changes, how about feelings?
In life, I learned that everything worth having doesn't come easy. Those thing that come easily, it eventually easy to go too. Don't rush into something. If it was meant to be, it will be, in the right time, in the right place, with the right persons. If someone wants to go from you, let them, if they're came back, they're yours.

Few days ago, I found this little quotation,
"You know it's love when all you want is that person to be happy, even if you're not part of their happiness." —Julia Roberts

Agree or not? Well, I do agree.
Why forcing someone to be with you if they're not really want to stay with you?
Let them go, I know it's not that easy to let go of someone that means everything to you, but don't you think it is too selfish to force them to be with us. I know, change takes a little time.

I told you, I am a selfish kind of person, I'm impatient, I am temperamental, in my head..I've killed my enemies & those people I hate over and over again, I am an evil, I am cold-blooded, I am stone-hearted, etcetera..

I'm just a girl, I can only wait okay?
Well I know I messed up, I fucked up, I am mentally breakdown, but one thing I know for sure, I grow up, I learned from my mistakes, I try my best, I know the limits, and I accepted reality.


Well, the last but not least, I tend to hold on to this quote I made,
"Being happy is your own choice, not others."

So, just stop following what's people manage you to do instead do what your heart said, you know what you want, don't base your decisions off the advice of people who don't have to live with the results.

I guess that's the end of this "heart-to-heart" post.
I'll seeyou later guys! :)



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