Saturday, June 29, 2013

Heart to heart

Hello everyone,
so long didn't check on my blog,
Kinda busy with my schedule *cough* hahaha..
Oh really, I spend my June with full-time course, I am now attending a morning class and afternoon class.
Well yeah, it's kind of a distraction for me, I think..
A distraction from my super-complicated-love-life, I don't have to tell you again okay? (If you didn't know or understand, well please read my previous blog on May, you'll get the answer.)
Okay this time I'll use two language, English and Indonesian.
I'm a little bit tired to type it all in English. Well, I just need some time to share, I am overloaded with so many things and problems.

To be honest, until now I'm still in confusions.
Oh when it comes to a heart matters, I think no one ever really know about how I really feel, how I try to be strong, what I was thinking, and the time when I know something that really kills me inside but have to try to look okay and used to it. Trust me, that time, I really want to kick someone in the ass and release all of my anger, but I just can hold it, it sucks right. Yeah I know, sometime silence is the best answer, because not everyone could really understand your words.
Remember this quote?
"If you can't understand my silence, how can you understand my words?"

Yeah, you know someone really hurt when they starts to ignore you. But, pity me. Even if I get hurt, I still can't ignore the one I loved. Tell me I'm stupid, but I never feel stupid for loving someone. If you feel stupid, then you don't really love them. Simple right?

I believe that IF I patient enough to wait, good things will happen. I didn't said that I have to wait until forever, 'cus for me "forever" doesn't exist. I only remind myself that God will definitely guides me, I know his plan is much more better than mine.
 I keep re-read this quote,
"The ones who love you will never leave you, because even if there are hundred reasons to give up, they will find one reason to hold on."

I believe that if he really loves me and wants me, he will not easily give up on me, like I don't want to give up on him. I know we still had a chance to be together. Well maybe not right now, but someday, we will. I know expecting too much can hurt so much, but how can I give up on someone that I can't go a day without thinking about? Ever heard, "don't give up on something you can't go a day without thinking about" ?

Well, some said to move on, some said to hold on, some said that I am too stupid to wait for something that I don't even know how it ends, hello... I know lah kalo nasib digantung itu ga enak, bukan cuma ga enak, tapi pake banget. But, what can I do?  Lemme tell you, segala sesuatu yang dipaksain itu ga pernah berjalan mulus. Why I can say that thing? 'Cus, I've been through a lot of things in couple months. To be honest yaa.. Kadang capek. Capek makan ati. hahaha * bahasa alay mode on*

Kadang mikir, kok sekarang jalannya susah, rumit, too complicated, too much drama, bla bla bla... but then, I've read a book  that tells me this,
"kalau sekarang jalannya susah, banyak rintangan, banyak halangan, bukan berarti kalian ga berjodoh, cobaan itu yang menguji kamu, seberapa sabar,  seberapa besar perjuangan, dan seberapa kuat kemauan kamu untuk bersama dengan seseorang itu."

A real relationship needs two people who fights, who trust and believe in each other, and two people who really wants to be together.
Fight for what you love, but you can't be the only one who fights right?
Oh why complicated life....
God, if we are really meant to be together, please lead us to the right directions..

As my only one distraction, now I am finished my basic makeup course, now I'm in personal! YAY~ I'm in a rush to Bridal course, well I think I'm going to have a basic makeup test in few weeks ahead. Wish me luck guys! *finger crossed*

I've wrote this blog cuma buat mengurangi beban pikiran, no offense okay? I told ya before kan, aku bukan tipikal orang yang gampang ngomong straight to the point ke orangnya apalagi kalo masalah hati gini *HAHAHA*, so I choose to write it on my own blog and hoping that someone would read, yeah I'm big on writing! :p

Well I think that's enough for now,
I'm a little bit tired and sleepy, you know what? For a couple weeks back then, I've sleep before 12 am! miracle happens HAHAHA, you know that I'm an insomniac. *duh*
Seeyou guys in the bext blog post SOON...


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